Larry continues to amaze me. There are probably 4-5 times throughout each day that I am certain he has taken his last breath, yet he rallies. He does realize he is dying, and makes very brief comments about this when the pain awakens him. In fact, just today he tried to make a deal with the nurses to let him out of bed. Each time he wakes up he asks to stand up, only to be told he's not strong enough and we can't let him out of bed. This afternoon he asked if he was dying. I frantically looked to his nurse for help in answering and she asked him what he thought. He replied that he thought so, and she told him he was right and that it would probably happen very soon. In typical Larry fashion he asked, "Then what can it hurt for me to stand up?" Needless to say, Larry stood up for a couple of minutes - with quite a bit of assistance - but he stood and loved it.
Larry's speech is not very clear and it takes quite a bit of concentration to make out what he's saying most of the time, but I cling to every word. I still believe that he hears all that is said and I talk about heaven a lot. Sometimes he nods, sometimes he raises his eyebrows, and sometimes he has no reaction at all, but that's okay. He knows that his children and I are ready for his journey, as are the others in our families. I can not begin to imagine what is keeping him here, but either he's not ready to leave or God's not ready to take him. Watching him suffer is a tough pill to swallow, but it is what it is and everything is in His timing - - like it or not!
Many have asked about the kids. I have been so proud of them. I know this is tough for them, but they are here just every day and they don't mind holding his hand and talking to him. His daughter has been in town with us as often as possible and I am certain she has been a great example for them. She is strong yet has no issues with showing grief over the whole situation. We have friends and relatives who have allowed the kids the talk and ask questions, which has been very helpful for them as well. We are so blessed.
We will spend another night by Larry's bedside, holding his hands and letting him know he is not alone. I still ask God to either heal him completely or take him, but not to continue allowing him to suffer.
Thanks so much for the comments. It is such a comfort to know that Larry touched the lives of so many.
Terri
15 comments:
Josh-Bethany wants you to call her, please, if you have time. Thanks. Still praying for you all. I have heard from Jarvis in Peru. He remembers Larry and is so sad to hear this news. Terri, I have e-mailed Breanne in Zambia to tell her also.
With our love to you all, Janice and family
Thanks SO much for the update. Our love and prayers are with you.
Carolyn and Ed
Terri,
Thank you very much for this update. Even though all of this is so difficult for your family, it is beautiful to see how you are clinging to God and how He is giving you the strength you need to face each moment as it comes. Larry and all of you continue to be in our constant prayers.
Terri - I have been keeping up with your blog and have been praying for Larry, you and the boys every day. I am so saddened for you. Please know that you are all being lifted up in prayer for peace and comfort. Please let me know if I can do anything for you.
Love, Robyn
Heaven will be a place of beauty, peace, constant health, and happiness!
"God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." - Revelation 21:4 KJV
T and Family,
The Lord brings you all to my mind many times during the day and night and each time I say a prayer. Sometimes I don’t even know how to pray, but I know the Lord has what’s best in mind for you all and I ask Him to draw you close to Him during this time. I have started taking the time that I am up with Avery in the night to pray especially for you also – so if you need to talk during the night, I’m probably up, feel free to call!
I am glad that Larry got to stand up some yesterday! It's so neat to hear that through all this he is still being Larry!
I pray that the Lord will give you all the strength you need. I pray for peace for you and the family and for comfort from the pain for Larry.
Much love to you all!
Holly
Terri-We continue to pray daily. We value your friendship and stand with you through this time in your journey. The Westaphers in IN and the Lewises in FL said to tell you they are praying as well. They all send you their love. John and Kim
Terri, I am in shock right now as I have just learned of Larry's illness. I cannot tell you the deep impact that both of you have had on my life. Even though we have not seen each other in many years I think of y'all very often. I love you both, and am praying that you will have both strength and wisdom through these times. I love you, Janice Tysinger Walker
Terri,
Please know that you, Larry and your entire family are in our prayers.
Mark and Lori Welch
Terri, I have thought often of you and Larry since I first heard the news of Larry's condition. I can't imagine what this has been like for you and your family. I feel the need to say the obvious though...Larry is and always will be one of the great ones. His investment in the lives of young people will continue to pay dividends long after his time on earth has ended. When I think back to the great Christian heritage I've been given, I can't help but think of all the times you and Larry have been there with us. I can't imagine what God has in store for Larry in Heaven, but I'll bet it's going to begin with really, really good music. Natalie and I love you both very much. Sincerely, Aaron Wall
Terri,
Today I remembered something. It was the greatest and fondest memory I have of Larry. I had not even met him yet.
It was my first year as a member of First Wesleyan Church. It was also my first involvement with the Living Christmas Tree. It was 1990 or 1991.
Mark Welch was directing that year, I think, and I was playing guitar in the orchestra. This was the year when Mark played the goofy Wizard character with all the crazy machines on stage.
During the final scene of that performance, the choir was singing at full volume, the music was filling the air with harmonious and thunderous crescendo when suddenly......lit up with lights and amid rolling fog and smoke rose the image of the robed Jesus, hands outstretched and rising into the air !
I looked up at the scene. It was Larry Payne. Suspended by cables, portraying Jesus Christ himself in all the Glory that must come as close to being in the presence of the real Saviour himself.
I cried that night in the church just I am right now as I write this.
Terri and family,
As we meet for care group tonight, we will be praying especially for you and your family. Thee are so many wonderful memories of you guys when you were in the group. It wasn't the same when you weren't there. We will pray for continued strength for you and Josh and Justin and the rest of the family that loves Larry. Please know that we are here if you need anything. We will pray for God's mercy and grace for Larry. We love you guys and hurt with you as you go through this trial. Love, Francel and Sandy and the care group
T,
Wow...I am so awe-stricken by the people who are responding on this blog! It's like a reunion, all because of Larry! I see a post from Janice Tysinger, Lori Welch, and so many others who were a major factor in our lives when we lived in NC. What a wonderful time it will be in heaven, when we are all there!
I know that you must be touched by the responses, as well. I have to wonder if you or Larry ever really realized what an impact you've had on SO, SO many lives??!!!
Praying for all of you & loving all of you!
Linda
Terri-
I was so glad to learn about your blog today and be able to read it tonight. It was the first time I was able to understand all that was going on with Larry. Larry is a trooper and so are you. Even before Larry was diagnosed, I thought about you guys almost every morning as I passed your parent's house on the way to Wesleyan. Now, instead of "I wonder what Larry & Terri are up to?", I say a prayer for your family. This must be such a difficult time but what a strong and faithful mom your boys have been blessed with! You and Larry will always hold a special place in my heart.
with love-
jennifer routh chilton
Terri, we just found out last night about Larry. I've just been reading the blog and getting caught up and I'm just blown away. I remember meeting Larry in the 1st grade when our families went to Mt. Pisgah Church in Greensboro. He has always been a precious and gracious man. Terri, we are praying for you and the boys that you will feel God's peace and comfort. You are such a wonderful family. Thank you for being such a Godly example. We will continue to watch the blog and pray for your family. Please tell Larry that we love him and have him in our hearts as we pray.
Shelley Love Rhodes
Terri Thanks for the updates. I have been keeping Jessi and her family upto date. Our prayers are with Larry and your family. I hate that I was not able to come see him. Will you tell him that I miss his smiling face, and that I we are praying for him. If we can do anything just let us know. SHANE and JESSICA SERVIS
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